Don't read if you don't wanna know.

Do you know how easy Remus/Sirius shippers had it when Sirius was alive?

It was too perfect a set up to write some slash in. Old school chums, Remus practically screams gay like Snape practically screams WEREWOLVES whilst teaching the third years, not to mention that hug in the Shrieking Shack. In the Remus/Sirius heyday, whipping up a slash story involving those two was as easy as swish-and-flick.

Fuckers, all of you.

Due to major plot twist complications of JKR's Half-Blood Prince, we Snarry shippers are going to have to rethink our approach. We never had it as easy as you Remus/Sirius shippers or you Malfoy/Harry shippers.

Sure, the two characters are old friends, they're fucking, let's write.

Sure, the two characters are the same age, hatred=love in fanfics, let's write.

Yeah. Fuck you all.

We who have captained the Snarry ship and sailed her safely from port to port up until Half-Blood Prince our now near mutiny. There is a leak in the boat, and it's taking on water people.

It was never easy for us. We had to toil back and forth with JKR's horrid descriptions of the way Snape looked and acted towards Harry, turn them around into something plausible and erotic, and go with it from there. Never has a character been so hated as Snape, so in order to get you people to READ the goddamned things, we had to columinate a way to get Snape this side of the Redemption Border, whilst keeping his snark and vile mannerisms in tact, yet prove them to be equally alluring as off-putting. We had to give Harry a legitimate reason to look at Snape in a new light, because the Golden Rule of Snarry still exists:

Harry/Snape

Everything Harry thinks about Snape is WRONG-O.

And in algebra, what you do to one side, you do to the other to get equal factors on either side of the famous slash.

We subtract one part understanding from Harry, so we subtract one part understanding from Snape.

Snape thinks he knows Harry? NOPE.

Now we have to explain why each of their deductions about the other is wrong, give them close enough plausible proximity to let nature take its course, and get past their hatred of each other to reach that utopia we call SLASH.

You think you know? You have no fucking idea.

Not only do we have to convince Harry that he's in love with Snape, that everything he thinks he understands about the man is hidden in layers and layers of ambiguity, Occlumency, repressed sexual tension, emotional detatchment, and the usual hurdles, but we have to convince you ignorant READERS that Snape is perfectly amiable if you'd look past the hair, the teeth, and the mannerisms. And we succeed pretty well. We are one of the most slashed ships in the fandom.

And what is our reward???

J.K. Rowling, goddess that she is, throws a completely tangent curve-ball in our direction.

In Half-Blood Prince, she killed off Dumbledore.

And who pulled the trigger?

Severus. Snape.

Now, despite all of our success, the haters have risen to new, tsunami-esque heights. They are calling Snape a backstabber and a traitor because he offed Bumblebee.

As soon as Snarry readers read this, we immediately began to plot ways to logically deny that Snape was evil, and he is not evil. You people never get the hint. You're still stuck in book one, angry that Snape mistreated Harry in Potions all those years ago.

I am sick to death of y'all screaming about Snape being evil.

WAKE UP AND SMELL THE POTION.

Snape is NOT evil. He is no saint, but he is not evil and he is not Voldemort's slut. He is a double. Agent. 'Nuff said. He is an ambiguous, admired, and respected character who should be commended for doing what he did in HBP. He is multi-demensional, and you mere mortals who see nothing more than bad teeth and sleazy hair will NEVER UNDERSTAND and should be taken out and shot for not picking up J.K. Rowling's vibes about him.

Think about it. Why would Snape wait six years after Harry Potter and arrived at Hogwarts before deciding to lay seige to him when he's been in Snape's clutches several times before that? Why wait to kill Dumbledore?

Well, let me ask you this:

Why, when Harry attacked Snape after he killed Dumbledore, did Snape only deflect his curses and not attack? Why did he take the Cruciatus off of Harry when a rogue Death Eater cursed him? Oh, because Voldemort wanted him unharmed?

Not likely. Alive, maybe. Unharmed? Probably not.

Snape only attacked Harry when Harry called him a coward.

So let's think here. Dumbledore and Snape were heard by Hagrid to be arguing over SOMETHING nights prior. Snape had undergone the Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa to protect her son at all costs, and if he could not take care of the task himself, Snape promised to do it for him, knowing that Malfoy was probably not going to be able to do it.

He did it knowing that he had a serious choice to make. Either disobey the vow and die, or kill Dumbledore.

All evidence up until now points to Snape being an Order member. What else would Snape and Dumbledore be arguing about, given what we know? HP Sleuthing 101 people: Nothing happens by coincidence. Snape and Dumbledore were most likely discussing Snape's unbreakable vow and his choice, and Dumbledore was telling Snape to save Malfoy and perform the task when the time was right. Now this probably pissed Snape off. Wouldn't you be pissed if your respected mentor asked you to kill him when you didn't want to, but you couldn't tell him no way?

The look of hatred on Snape's face was not hatred for Dumbledore. It was hatred that he had to perform the impossible, to kill his (beloved) mentor in order to save Malfoy and save his own life. Because Malfoy's spine disappeared, according to the Unbreakable Vow, Snape had to take up his task.

Dumbledore apparently concluded that his life was not as important as Snape's role of spy in the war, and he wanted Snape alive.

Which is probably why Dumbledore said, "Severus...please..." It was a plea to complete his task rather than a plea for mercy.

Dumbledore's not an idiot. If he didn't have a legitimate reason for trusting Snape, he would not have taken him in when Snape came, asking to be sheltered. At that time, Snape probably was not so much an accomplished Occlumens--the skill seems more useful for Snape to know for double-agenting--and Dumbledore put his trust in Snape. He believed in Snape, and is probably in Heaven right now, still admiring Snape's ability to follow orders, even against his will.

A stretch, you say? What motive would Snape have for killing Dumbledore and Harry?

What, Voldemort?

Why wait five years to do it? Why not just off them on the spot? False security? Oh please.

J.K. Rowling said Snape was not about to put on a turban, and now is no reason to start.

This year, Snape probably gained the DADA post because it was cursed. Dumbledore, knowing this, and knowing that by the end of the year, Snape would have to carry out his task and murder him, it was his ultimate form of trust: giving Snape his cherished position. He wasn't gonna last 'till the end of the year anyway, so why not vanish?

And for those of you who believe Snape to be firmly in Voldemort's clutches, why not flip back to Chapter two, Spinner's End.

You don't honestly think Pettigrew was there for servant purposes, do you? He was watching Snape's every move.

Now, for those of you who thought Snape to be evil and still do, we Snarry writers have a serious task on our hands. We've got to find some way to still unite Harry and Snape in reasonable circumstances, even when you all hate him even more for what he did to Dumbledore. Our writers are already posting their thoughts on the matter and plotting ways to write them, keep them in character, and still manage to top off lovely, lovely sex.

The playing field has changed. We'll still find a way for Snape to be fucking Harry, J.K. Rowling and you haters! We will not be denied!

And...*sigh* for those of you still screaming EW HOMOSEXUALITY THEY'RE STRAIGHT, let me explain something to you:

Harry is sixteen years old. He's snogged two girls. So what?

Two characters with that much emotional/tension/power between them can hate each other all they want. They're still fucking.

And we will continue to bring you Snarry stories despite this very large hurdle J.K.R has obstructed over the Track of Slash-Plots.

We will find a way.