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Breaking Dawn: Part 2 (Recap)


Footface and Bells tied the knot,

And Pedowulf fell for the tot,

SMeyer cried

While my brain cells were fried


I think I know why Washington state legalized marijuana now. Collapse )

Breaking Dawn, Part 1 Recap

I'm a masochist. No really, I must be. I have a day off of school for Thanksgiving and this is how I choose to spend my time. I set out my turkey to thaw and even the fucking bird was judging me for this.


All right, here we go. The first half of Breaking Dawn, the book unnecessarily split up into two movies despite the fact that it has no. fucking. plot.
Fuckery most foul this way.Collapse )

Mitt Romney is a fucking moron. I hope a tornado destroys his house.

A Quick Word

I. HATE. Cassandra Clare. I absolutely hate her.

That's all.
I can't believe I'm doing this, but I find myself up early with only a mild hangover and nothing to do but wait until it goes away. So instead of taking Tylenol with a bit of the hair of the dog that bit me, per se, I instead will be fanning the flames of my headache and nausea to the point of excruciating pain.

It wouldn't be Black Friday without a little bit of masochism, right? And seeing as how it's thirty degrees in the middle of Texas today, I refuse to venture out of my bedroom and partake in the post-Thanksgiving tradition of getting trampled in department stores. Nothing like a good bout of pain to kick off the Christmas season, right? 

Humans are strange.

So here it is, Rachel's recap of the third installment in the Twilight saga, Eclipse. Enough prevaricating. Ravyn, if you were on I'd watch this with you. I know how much you enjoy my outrage at SMeyer's drivel. Let me slip on my brass knuckles and get to watching the fail.

I"ve said it before, and I"ll say it again: DIE, SMEYER.Collapse )

Stephenie, Stephenie, Stephenie. Thank you so much. I am now dumber for having had to sit through that shit. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Bon Noel, what the fuck ever. I hope everybody makes out like a fucking pirate, drinks lots of eggnog, and parties it up.



Y'all have a great Turkey Day! Eat lots, drink lots, be happy and look back on everything good that's happened to you this year.

And...have fun shopping tomorrow, since it's Black Friday and all. I'll be stuck at work for thirteen long hours of retail guitar-selling.

College Love

See, this is what I love about college. I'm sitting here, at a college computer on campus (because my classes are literally light-years apart) and blogging whilst listening to my nifty little iPod. 

This is the life, man. 

Oh, and btw? 

College is such a joke.

Can I Just Say...

...that Secretary Condi Rice is probably the luckiest woman alive right now?

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert offered to sleep with her tonight.

What the fuck?